Mountain View

Mountain View

COLUMBUS WHATSAPP JOKES AND FUN

Welcome to the Funniest Whatsapp Jokes by Columbus Cyber





Crazy Composition- Gathiroine Crazy School

I was asleep. The jogoo shouted three times, I opened one eye and left the other to sleep abit.
I was wishing I had slept with my uniforms putted on, but I realised if wishes were chickens beggars would been laying eggs.
I woke up with only one eye open and I was looking where the karai was put I wash my face.
I found some cotton which I used to burn the jiko and cook a chai without milk called sturungi.
I drank the sturungi haphazardy and hurriendily with a big piece of kiugali which had remained at night.
I put on my uniforms and then I painted myself with fat and because there was no kiwi I had to paint my shoes with fat to.
I took a paperbag put books and biros then ran my everything, I beated the first corner hardly then as
I was beating the second corner I heard the school bell cry ncgririr nkngrirriririri nckgrrrirrrrr!!!
I knew nimelate. When I reached the gate!! You don’t want to know!! Mr kimei was standing at the gate
with a big black nyahunyo. I was so afraid that I almost urinated on myself.
I was asked “why are you late? I said “ makaa was poured with water at night” teacher asked “
what has that to do with you coming to school late” I told him “ the jiko was late to burn so
it delayed cookin strong’ he said that is no excuse!! Touch your toes!! I started to remove
my shoes so I can touch the toes but he told me I just meant bend, he gave me the first
nyahunyo on my buttocks,,hehe it was as hot as a boiling water, I dried that one, he gave
me the second one pap!! This one was much hotter n started hearing to cry,
when the third one was given to me I heard so much pain that I touched my buttocks,
the teacher said “ you have erased that one!! I will have to give you another one!!
When I was given the fourth nyahunyo, tears started getting out of my
eyes uncontoullably,, the teacher said,” You removing tears for who!!
I don’t want to see even a smell of tear, ran to class and don’t late tomorrow.
My buttocks as I went to class were hearing as if sitting in a burning jiko..
I dried the tears because my classmate would laugh at me for crying.
When I entered class I walked slowly to my desk and when I tried to
sit it was so pain I could not sit. So I sitted
d on air above my chair holding my desk. From that day I sware
I will never come to school late again even if the makaa was poured on water!!!.

 DESCRIBE YOUR HEADMASTER
Our head Masters is named Mr Nyagweno, He is tall, short, fat and huge with haphazard legs.
He comes as a DVD of 5 in one, He is the headmaster, CRE teacher, school care taker since he lives in
the school compound, former deputy and former student of our school.
He is feared by pupils like you don’t want to know.
He is very bitter and if you make a mistake he gives you a battle like the one experienced by
Kinjekitile ngwale and his soldiers during the majimaji rebellion.
Even other teachers complain that that is not instilling discipline, its like he wants to kill pupils
Mr nyagweno rarely brushes his shoes and if he does it’s
the front side, so his shoes are black at the front but at the back they are brown fading to colorless.
He wears a brown trouser many days and a black jacket and shirt of many colors.
He always looks emaciated and rarely smiles unless when Miss Kemunto visits his office, you can wonder.
They have something with her but its under water.
One day the headmaster beated a student Abdul whose father was a former tykondo trainer.
Abdul ran as first as.. as…as I don’t know what to say to bring his dad who came back to school as furious as a rhino.
Since we were during break time we sensed danger and looking at the Abdul dad he looked like commando going revenging.
Abdul dad banged into the headmasters office almost breaking the door.
He lifted the headmaster by the shirt and spreaded her on the cupboard and gave him a header!!
You have made my son your punching bag huh!! The headmaster was uttering in a pleading way
“wanaume ni kuongea” meaning men is to talking. By that time students were
chunguliaring from outside the office making noises and ndurus…
The other male brave teachers had came to rescue their boss.
But they could not match the strength..The headmaster was given slaps making noises Twaaap!! Twaaap!!. Mr Kandoso who
was the bravest in the school was given a blow in the face when he trying to stop war that made him feel Kizunguzungus.
He heard himself again and this time he was able to get hold of the Abduls dad both hand
and Mr nyagweno sensing an escape opportunity he ponyokad whaaaaah! and went and
hid in the ladies teachers toilets. All the teachers were left begging the abdul dad to forgive the headmaster.
Abdul dad agreed to get back home and as he left the office students were shouting commando!!
Heheh Shwazniger !! delta force 4!!…
Mr Kandoso went to call the heady in the ladies toilets and the heady would ask him.
”are you sure he is gone and would not come back?!!
When he immediately agreed to come out he was hearing shame so much…
Since that day before the headmaster beats you he ask what is your dads career!!!.
 

KANYEKI NA  MWALIMU WA  CRE

Baada ya mwalimu kumaliza
kufunza somo la C.R.E, akawauliza
wanafunzi, ni nani ako na swali. KANYEKI
akainua mkono juu, mwalimu
akamwambia aulize..............

KANYEKI:umesema eti watoto wa israel
walihepa misri?

MWALIMU:ndiyo

KANYEKI:umesema eti watoto wa israel
walivuka red sea?

MWALIMU:ndiyo.

KANYEKI:na pia umesema hao hao watoto
wa israel waliangusha ukuta wa
jericho?

MWALIMU:ndiyo.

KANYEKI:swali langu ni, wakati hao watoto
walikua wakifanya hayo yote, watu
wazima walikua wapi?
Mwalimu:Tupatane kwa ofisi
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
 

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