Money is evil

Jamaa mmoja karudi mapema kutoka Kazini mpole!

MKEWE        :      Vipi leo mbona mapema na mpole hivyo? MUME           :      Ofisi yetu imeungua Moto na watu wote wamekufa.
MKEWE        :      Sasa ilikuwaje wewe ukapona?
MUME           :      Nilikuwa chooni, nje kidogo na ofisi.
MKEWE        :      Loh maskini familia zao zitakuwaje?
MUME           :      Watalipwa milioni 200 kila mfiwa.
MKEWE        :      Akahamaki kwa hasira, “Ona sasa kunyakunya

kwako ovyo umetukosesha mihela yote!!
Hebu rudi huko kabla moto haujazimika!….

A woman called the police station

A woman called the police station one evening and said, “My husband has gone out with a girlfriend and right now am going after them.

I have a gun and when I find them, I will kill both of them right away”.

The police asked, “Where exactly have they gone?”.
Woman :They went to watch a certain Comedy show.
The police rushed quickly and went to the place and made sure they arrived earlier than the woman.

When they reached the place, they took the microphone from the Comedian and start announcing, “If there is a married man here and has come with a girlfriend, you must leave immediately.

Your wife is coming right now with a gun to shoot both of you dead”.

The police was surprised that the door became small as everyone was running out and the show ended because even the Comedian himself ran out!!!.

ADVANTAGES OF NOT HAVING A LOVER….

ADVANTAGES OF NOT HAVING A
LOVER. ……

1, You can sleep well. .
2, You can save time and money. .
3, No worries about how you look. .
4, No miss calls in the midnight. .
5,No need to recharge more than
twice a day. .

6, You can talk to all
boys/girls. .
7, You can eat well. .
8, No scoldings from parents/
guardians. .
9, Can eat in any restaurant. .
10, You can visit any body. .
11, Can pick any call, any time without
being questioned. .
12, Don’t worry about missed calls. .
13, You can do whatever u want. .
14, You don’t need to displease urself
to please anyone. .

TRUE OR FALSE???

One morning at a doctor’s clinic a patient arrives complaining of serious back pain

One morning at a doctor’s clinic a patient arrives complaining of serious back pain.
The doctor examines him and asks him:
“Tell me what happened to your back…?”

The patient replies: “Sir, I work for a local night club. This morning I went to my apartment early and heard some noise in my bed room.
On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open.


I rushed out of the balcony door and did not find anyone.
As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself.
I was very angry. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him.
It was very heavy…
That is how I strained my back.!”

Continue reading One morning at a doctor’s clinic a patient arrives complaining of serious back pain

Baada ya mwalimu kumaliza kufunza somo la C.R.E

KANYEKI NA  MWALIMU WA  CRE

Baada ya mwalimu kumaliza
kufunza somo la C.R.E, akawauliza
wanafunzi, ni nani ako na swali. KANYEKI
akainua mkono juu, mwalimu
akamwambia aulize…………..

KANYEKI:umesema eti watoto wa israel
walihepa misri?

MWALIMU:ndiyo

KANYEKI:umesema eti watoto wa israel
walivuka red sea?

MWALIMU:ndiyo.

KANYEKI:na pia umesema hao hao watoto
wa israel waliangusha ukuta wa
jericho?

MWALIMU:ndiyo.

KANYEKI:swali langu ni, wakati hao watoto
walikua wakifanya hayo yote, watu
wazima walikua wapi?
Mwalimu:Tupatane kwa ofisi
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

 

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