This is where technology is taking us

Me:Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?
Autobot: No sir, it’s Google’s Pizza.
Me: Did I dial the wrong number?
Autobot: No sir, Google bought the pizza store.
Me: Oh, alright – then I’d like to place an order please.
Autobot: Okay sir, do you want the usual?
Me:The usual? You know what my usual is?
Autobot: According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust.
Me:Okay – that’s what I want this time too.
Autobot:May I suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?
Me: No, I hate vegetables.
Autobot: But your cholesterol is not good
Me:How do you know?
Autobot:Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
Me:Maybe so, but I don’t want the pizza you suggest – I already take medicine for high cholesterol.
Autobot: But you haven’t taken the medicine regularly. 4 months ago you purchased from Drugsale Network a box of only 30 tablets.
Me:I bought more from another drugstore.
Autobot:It’s not showing on your credit card sir.
Me: I paid in cash.
Autobot:But according to your bank statement you did not withdraw that much cash.
Me:I have another source of cash.
Autobot: This is not showing on your last tax form, unless you got it from an undeclared income source.
Me: WHAT THE HELL? ENOUGH! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. I’m going to an island without internet, where there’s no cellphone line, and no one to spy on me …
Autobot:I understand sir, but you’ll need to renew your passport … it expired 5 weeks ago.

Do not rush to solve problems

A baby was born and minutes afterwards began to speak:
He said…. I am going to live for only 4 days, my Mother will die in 6 days, and my Father will die in 15 days.
4 days later the boy died, after 6 days the Mother died.
The Father was going crazy coz he knew the next to die would be him. So he sold everything and spent all the whole money on the high life. 15 days later, their Watchman died.

Columbus Fun Site

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